OK Waffles in Space

kitkatinc:

spelling bee administrator: you word is delicious
me: D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the D to the E to the to the to the
spelling bee administrator: hit it fergie

that bird u just called flappy?? it struggles to fly through obstacles . think before u speak.

fiftyshadesofdebauchery:

kvotheunkvothe:

Animal fun fact: Chinchillas can’t get wet. Their fur retains too much water and will start to grow mold. So they bathe by rolling around in dust.

Chinchilla fun fact: Chinchillas have around 20 hairs per follicle; unlike humans who have 2-3 hairs per follicle. Because their fur is so dense, they cannot get fleas or other parasites. The bugs will suffocate in their fur.

Chinchilla fun fact: Petting one of those awesome little guys feels like touching a motherfucking cloud.

Chinchilla fun fact: Their newborn babies are like little pieces of fluffy popcorn. You could easily just toss a handful in your mouth.

Chinchilla fun fact: Don’t toss a handful into your mouth.

justintimerblake:

you know you have hit your lowest point of being low when you start procrastinating your showers

loualyne:

sweetmadameblue:

theouijagirl:

kerplunkers:

hypo-thermic:

yogaboi:

toocooltobehipster:

To donate £5 to the charity supporting the male victims of domestic abuse, text the message: MKDV46 to 70070
Click here to watch the video

At first I though this was a joke

Don’t ignore this Tumblr

Yet they still do even when it’s right in their face.

This reminds me of how a friend of mine was abused by the mother of his child. She was mentally unstable and used to berate him constantly and would smack him in the head all the time. It really pissed me off. Then one night she threw hot coffee in his face and tried to stab him with a screwdriver. The cops hauled him off to jail because she made up a sob story that painted herself as the victim. 

Once he left her, he stayed with me and it was a nightmare. She stalked him and me. She would drive by my house obsessively at all hours of the day and night (her muffler made a weird sound so I know it was her). She started showing up at my job, showing up at the places I frequented around town, and filling up my voicemail with dead air. The cops were no help.

One day she got bold enough to talk her way into my home by conning my elderly grandmother, whom I was taking care of, while I was out. She went in my room and went through my stuff (creepy), then found him napping on the couch and attacked him. My grandmother witnessed the whole thing. He grabbed her by the arms, forced her out the front door, and locked it. The cops were called again. They said they’d go and ‘talk’ to her.

The next day we were watching a movie and there was a knock at the door. The police had come to arrest him. She filed a complaint against him and shown off some bruises on her arms from the altercation that she swore were completely unprovoked. My grandmother saw the whole thing since she was in the living room too and testified on his behalf. He still ended up serving jail time.
No one takes male domestic violence victims seriously. They only see males as perpetrators.

    

^

tastefullyoffensive:

"This stuffed squirrel I won at our state fair looks suspiciously familiar…"[baconmobile]

tastefullyoffensive:

"This stuffed squirrel I won at our state fair looks suspiciously familiar…"

[baconmobile]

ventai:

HE HAS RETURNED

run-rhianna-run:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

gamecuboid:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

a toy story remake done with nothing but dildos 

"you’ve got a friend in me"

image

GOD

right in the childhood

satan-is-not-natural:

mrrgh:

kawaii-i:

by Morticia’s Shop

if anyone puts that goddamn meme on this post i’m reporting them. you know the one.

image

thelunaticyouarelookingfor:

sernacht:

So, I was in the car today and saw someone with the license plate “X0DUS3 5”, so I thought it was like Exodus 3:5 and I looked it up, and do you know what it said?

"Do not come any closer."

Now that’s a well done biblical license plate.

Surprising Facts About Adolf Hitler

thisblogisnotgovernmentapproved:

Nothing positive he ever did in his life can ever count for anything considering the millions of innocent dead people. Shocking, I know.

dildorrito:

what’s the password

dildorrito:

what’s the password

thecrimsonalchemist:

I know everyone is really sad right now so have a video of my three legged dog trying to catch water

neoputa:

asking your murderer to clear your internet history for you